That's Outrageous!

Teenage Scream

Written by: TL on 19/07/2011 00:28:37

Dear readers, it is time for me to take you on a journey to a realm of sound, the like of which you could previously only dream of. To join me, answer me this: Have you ever tried to imagine what it would sound like, if an extremely talented group of young musicians, made a record that combined all the most awesome elements ever conceived in music? Can you conjure up such an idea? Do you hold it in your mind even now?

If you do, now think of the exact 100%, polar opposite to that idea. Welcome to the debut album of American sixtet That's Outrageous. Welcome to "Teenage Scream", a record that could not consist of more atrocious elements, if I had provided the band with a list of everything I think needs to go in the music scene. Through ten tracks titled with contrite cyber-cultural references, this young Rise Records signing presents the world with music made up almost entirely of breakdowns, neon electronics and soulless, auto-tuned choruses, and dear lord in heaven, it is every bit as awful as one could imagine.

What we have here, is a record carefully aimed at the absolutely lowest common denominator in the scene. Meaningful emotions and song-structures have been abandoned in favour of senseless patterns of br00tal breakdowns, robotic refrains and cheap theatrics, and then the product has been dressed up as hip with various nintendo-sounds and brief ventures into crunk and dub-step that even manages to shame two genres I actually thought were already responsible for the scum of the current music scene.

Not since the emergance of crab-core have I heard such a depressingly awful obsession with beatdowns as in "The New York Chainsaw Massacre". Not since Brokencyde have I heard such idiotic attempts at rapping as in "Re: Why I Killed My Girlfriend". Not since techno was in have I heard such lame synths as in "Teenage Scream". Not since metalcore was as its heights have I heard such a pointless intro as "The Poughkeepsie Tapes". Not since.. well, ever!.. have I heard such utterly retarded and poor an attempt at dub-step as in "Is It 2012 Yet?". And don't even get me started on the toe-cringing ambient 'ballad' "Star69"!

This dear readers, is utter fuckin' garbage, plain and simple. Every component of this monstrosity is seemingly carefully harvested from the deepest dumpster of bad musical ideas. Even when the euro-dance-ish electronics and bittersweet emobot choruses are dominant, and you think for a moment that this is not that awful, that's when the band will come in with a breakdown or a crunk rap so bad that it truly, with not even a hint of exaggeration, makes me regret all the shit I've given bands like Brokencyde, Hollywood Undead and Attack Attack! in the past. From the bottom of my music-loving heart, I find that the most honest and accurate way to describe to you just how fuckin' terrible this record is. The fact that this has been put on record, that's truly outrageous, and my only consolation is that if there is such a thing as justice, nobody who matters will remember this as more than a shitty joke in a year's time. Worst album of the year so far.

Download: something that will make your harddrive melt and your speakers explode before you ever even think of downloading any of this.
For The Fans Of: Attack Attack!, Asking Alexandria, Brokencyde,
Listen: http://www.myspace.com/thatsoutrageousss

Release Date 19.07.2011
Rise Records

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