The Crash Mats

69 Peruvian Panpipe Classics

Written by: MAK on 20/10/2017 14:06:51

Taking influence from the silly end of punk-rock that the likes of Wonk Unit and The Liabilities fit into, Yorkshire trio, The Crash Mats come in with their album amusingly named, “69 Peruvian Panpipe Classics”. Now don’t be fooled by such a title as the band can’t play the panpipes and they’ve never been to Peru. This is not Ronseal and it doesn’t do exactly what it says on the tin, instead you can expect low-fi, short and gritty punk songs about the most unconventional of topics

These topics include “Oldham’s National Anthem”, which basically lists off junk food; the words “BEANS, PIE, CHIPS, AND GRAVY…DONER KEBAB” are spat by singing bassist, Danny Barrett on top of crunchy, fast riffs and erratic beats. It’s a proper blast. Then we have one of the funniest songs about a grandparent, called “I Don’t Want To Go To Grandma’s House”, it’s a rather uplifting song about how boring it is to visit your grandma’s.

The ska come out for a track such as “Watchmen”, the upstroke rhythms and simple 1-2 beat makes you want to dance along with the chirpy brass melody. One of the most amusing song’s is the hardcore influenced track, “Don’t Tell Mum The Babysitter’s Dead”, much like “Oldham’s National Anthem”, it’s just a fast aggressive song with the most outrageous of lyrics about panicking when the babysitter dies. I'm pretty sure this is a reference to the 90s film of the same name. The same trend continues for “Terry Funk Forever” as The Crash Mats show their love for the hardcore wrestling legend.

Other reference based songs include the skanktastic, “Party At Lou’s Place”, which is a nod to the Australian TV Soap Neighbours. The best comes in the form of a cover of the Chucklevision theme, a popular kids tv show in the United Kingdom from the 90s, it’s a secret track and possibly the best surprise I’ve had on an album; it’s a punk-rock cover I never knew I wanted until I heard it, much like most of Less Than Jake’s “TV/EP”

The Crash Mats have unleashed an amusing album and a decent listen overall, a lot of it feels rather novelty, but it’s a nice distraction from the serious subject matters a lot of punk bands unload with. None of the tracks overstay their welcome, most of them don’t even make it past the two-minute mark. You blast through twenty-two songs in about thirty minutes and you don’t even realise. “69 Peruvian Panpipes Classics” sounds like three mates having fun and not a lot more.


Download: Oldham's National Anthem, Watchmen, Party At Lou's Place
For The Fans Of: Wonk Unit, The Liabilities, Asbo Retards

Release date 15.09.2017
Hoof & Horn Records

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